Sunak’s REAL Eid message to UK Muslims
My fellow Britons, as we celebrate Eid, let us bask in the warmth of my carefully crafted words, designed to soothe your concerns and distract you from the inconvenient truths lurking in the shadows regarding the death and destruction in Gaza.
Firstly, I extend my heartfelt gratitude to the Muslim community for your contributions across various sectors. Your hard work and dedication have undoubtedly enriched our society, though it seems the cost of this praise is your silence on matters inconvenient to my political agenda in the Middle East.
Yes, Gaza. Oh, how my heart bleeds for the suffering there. However, fear not, for we're doing everything we can to resolve the conflict. By everything, of course, I mean turning a blind eye to the arms deals we've been gleefully facilitating with Israel for the past six months. After all, what's a little bloodshed when there are profits to be made?
As for the safety of British Muslims? I have a brilliant plan. We'll throw a paltry sum of money at protecting your mosques and schools while simultaneously allowing venomous anti-Muslim rhetoric to flourish in our very own Parliament. Because nothing screams safety like allowing hate speech to permeate the highest halls of power, right?
Oh, and let's not forget about those MPs who find it amusing to spew anti-Muslim garbage. Suspensions? Punishments? No, that would be far too inconvenient. Let them continue to peddle fear and division.
Now, onto the pièce de résistance – my Eid speech. A carefully crafted masterpiece aimed at bolstering my political Fortunes. Nothing says 'caring leader' like using a religious holiday as a platform to secure votes while conveniently sweeping the inconvenient realities of Gaza under the prayer rug.
Yes, my friends, let us all gather together in a blissful state of ignorance and pretend that a few well-meaning words can absolve us of our complicity in the atrocities being committed in Gaza. After all, what's a little genocide when there are votes to be won?
So, as you feast and celebrate with your loved ones, remember to raise a toast to my cunning political manoeuvring. For in the game of politics, morality and compassion are but minor inconveniences on the road to power.
Taji Mustafa